Where is Bori’s kuki?

Bori is my girlfriend’s newborn niece, now two weeks old.

Kuki is the Hungarian kids’ word for penis.

My girlfriend and I were really eager to visit Bori right after she was born. So eager that, together with rescheduling our lives and flying in from two different countries, we made it on the very weekend Bori and my girlfriend’s sister were released from the hospital.

Bori has an older brother. Berci is 3 now, and knows a fair bit about the world. In a big part because he’s as curious as a young gentleman of 3 could ever get. He wanted to be part of the first bathing experience of his little sister.

We wanted to be part of the first bathing experience of his sister too. Bori and Berci, the mom and dad, my girlfriend and me, all lined up in the hot and steamy bathroom, to watch as this super-cute blob is being washed at home for the first time.

Berci was just next to his sister, watching the events very closely.

He noticed something.

He noticed something missing, to be more precise.

“Mami, where is Bori’s kuki?”, he asked.

I bit my lips while my stomach started to feel funny. This was going to be awesome. Mami was about to respond.

“She doesn’t have one. Bori is a girl, girls have vaginas.”

I was quite satisfied with the answer. Berci wasn’t. After a beat he had another question.

“Alright, but then, where are Bori’s boobs?”

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Doughnut safety

I popped in to Tesco on the way home for some dinner shopping. They seem to put the evil items next to the healthy stuff nowadays? Either way, I went for avocados but doughnuts caught my eye.

This being Tesco, it’s never just a doughnut, they come in packs of four, so this required some planning.

“I’ll eat two in the evening, two in the morning, and otherwise it’s only carrots for dinner and skimmed milk with the morning coffee”, I thought. That sounded fair.

The doughnuts in my backpack misbehaved on the way home. The pink, sugary topping melted and made everything inside my bag, the phones, cables, the laptop case, everything, covered in syrup. It looked the way I imagine a unicorn murder scene. Very, very sad indeed.

It took some time to recover the content of the bag, then the bag itself, and then I looked at the plate of the still semi-perfect looking doughnuts. Maybe I’ll still eat the two pieces set for today, the damage is done anyway.

Doughnuts are awesome.

Once finished, I looked at the other two pieces left on the plate. Without the safety of their box, they will go dry and tasteless by the morning. They will no doubt look terrible. Also, we’ve seen what they are capable of. The safest is to eat them all up.

When it comes to syrupy stuff, I say.
Safety first!

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Nothing new under the piano

“It seemed very fresh to me—I mean that part where you say how the First Industrial Revolution devalued muscle work, then the second one devalued routine mental work. I was fascinated.” […]

“Do you suppose there’ll be a Third Industrial Revolution?”
Paul paused in his office doorway. “A third one? What would that be like?”
“I don’t know exactly. The first and second ones must have been sort of inconceivable at one time.”

“To the people who were going to be replaced by machines, maybe. A third one, eh? In a way, I guess the third one’s been going on for some time, if you mean thinking machines. That would be the third revolution, I guess—machines that devaluate human thinking. […]”

“Uh-huh,” said Katharine thoughtfully. She rattled a pencil between her teeth. “First the muscle work, then the routine work, then, maybe, the real brainwork.”

“I hope I’m not around long enough to see that final step.”

(From Kurt Vonnegut’s Player Piano. I enjoy reading it very, very much right now.)

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Attention control

This newly developed addiction for Snapchat messages, Facebook likes, retweets, pokes and what not, it’s nothing new. Attention economy is eating our life for forever now.

Some 15 years ago, when email was the enemy, I implemented a rule to avoid going down the interesting-links-in-emails rabbit hole: I could only open URLs that I listed the day before. The list could be as long as it needed to be, the stupid links from emails could also make the list, but there was no clicking on stuff that I didn’t put on the day before.

The stupid links immediately lost their fake relevance and urgency, so even if they were on the list, the next day I largely ignored those.

Also, this being in 2001, when I ran out of stuff to do on the internet (whoah!), I started inventing new stuff for the next day’s list, like “what does McDonald’s sell in India?”.

(It’s the Maharaja Chicken Sandwich. As expected, beef burgers were not on the menu.)

Without going too much into the details, I’m trying to implement a similar system now, where I try to regain control over my attention. I want to get into the habit to take out an hour in the evening to schedule everything for the next day – on paper, without any screen that might work my Pavlovian reflexes. The goal is to move impulsive action to planned action.

Please ping me if you have anything to add.

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Chicken wings habit

I kept the habit of swimming since 2016. Wherever I am, at least once a week, I find a swimming pool and jump in it.
I practice. I work out. Every week, for over a year.
At least 1.5 kilometres every session. It took me 52 minutes to finish all the laps last year, and now I’m down to 45. I learned forward crawl: I do 750 metres breathe stroke, 750 metres forward crawl.
I’m not the fastest person in the water, but I’m in the medium-to-fast lane.
So then.
When will I finally grow a man’s arms instead of these chicken wings?
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Reading list in 2016

It’s been a pretty good year this, at least as far as my reading list goes. The full list of 34 books I’ve completed in 2016 (the two favourites on top, then in no particular order):

Top#1: How to Fail at Almost Everything and Still Win Big: Kind of the Story of My Life (Adams, Scott)

My favourite book of this year. Plenty great ideas in this one, some of which I’m subconsciously implementing for over 15 years, but works to an incomparable greater effect as a conscious daily practice. One example: if you hunt for deer, you want to improve your chances by going to the forest, learning about how deers behave, and perhaps getting a gun. (Replace deer with whatever you want achieve.)

Top#2 The Elephant Vanishes (Murakami, Haruki)

I’ve found Haruki Murakami by accident when I was looking for contemporary urban short stories on the Interwebs. This was the book that came up first on Amazon, I’ve read the first chapter and I was sold immediately. Excellent read, full-heartedly recommended.

Blind Willow Sleeping Woman (Haruki Murakami)

Another collection of short stories by Haruki Murakami. After the Elephant Vanishes I was sucked into his world, and this book gave exactly that: more of the same drug.

David and Goliath: Underdogs, Misfits, and the Art of Battling Giants (Gladwell, Malcolm)

The way Malcolm puts disadvantages and advantages into perspective is brilliant. Goliath might have been a massive fellow, but it would have been useful only in close combat: as soon as David chose slingshot as a weapon and dismissed sword & armour to be more agile, he became the natural favourite. (Translate this to your startup, and you’ll be killing it.)

The Art of the Deal (Trump, Donald J.)

I’ve read it over the spring when no one would have considered a Trump presidency, apart from, perhaps Scott Adams who blogged about Trump’s persuasion skills for a while. The realisation that Trump could become president hit me while reading his book: the way he brought massive projects to life is the exact way you can win anything (and the way I’ve accidentally lead an ad agency to success some ten years ago): by telling appealing stories that people remember.

It’s actually one of my favourite books this year but I wouldn’t tell anyone. Read it as if someone else wrote it.

The Tao of Warren Buffet: Warren Buffett’s Words of Wisdom: Quotations and Interpretations to Help Guide You to Billionaire Wealth Enlightened Business Management (Buffett, Mary)

One of my favourite learnings of this year is from Warren Buffett, although not exactly from this book: write down the 25 goals you want to reach in life. Put them in order: on top the ones you absolutely, must achieve, and the goals you care about less in the bottom. Now circle in the top 5 and cross out the bottom 20: the crossed-out ones are the ones that divert your focus and keep you from reaching the most important goals.
The book offers similarly smart business management insights.

The Magic of Thinking Big (Schwartz, David J.)

It’s a “whether you think you can do it or you think you can’t you’ll be right” self-help book, but the one of the few that passed my well-trained bullshit filter. Recommended for those times when you can’t seem to get up to speed.

Revolution (Brand, Russell)

“When I was poor and I complained about inequality they said I was bitter, now that I’m rich and I complain about inequality they say I’m a hypocrite.” He’s a great writer, yet this book doesn’t seem to go anywhere. I’d recommend reading Russell’s Guardian posts or watching his stand-up shows instead.

Founders at Work: Stories of Startups’ Early Days (Livingston, Jessica)

A list of interviews with companies that we don’t really look at as startups any longer: Apple, Paypal, Gmail, Trip Advisor and many others. It’s a time-travel to the 2000s (when I too started to work for one of the first Internet companies and created my first startup). Absolutely loved it.

Show Your Work!: 10 Ways to Share Your Creativity and Get Discovered (Kleon, Austin)

It’s more a nice gift to creative people than a book, at least in a sense that it can be read during a a short plane ride. I also like the way it’s drawn-and-written, sort of Wait but Why? style.

Bridget Jones: Mad About the Boy (Fielding, Helen)

I’ve read the latest Bridget Jones book mostly because my girlfriend was laughing on it so hard. For me it was rather difficult to get in the head of a 50-year old lady dating men in their 30s, but it’s all in all a fun read.

God’s Debris: A Thought Experiment (Adams, Scott)

Upmost fun. In my 25+ years of studying mathematics I’m quite used to playing with abstractions. This book offers exactly that sort of fun.

All Marketers Are Liars: The Power of Telling Authentic Stories in a Low-Trust World (Godin, Seth)

Absolutely fantastic. Stop thinking about marketing in a way that worked in the TV-era: we can’t buy eyeballs any more. The only thing that works today is developing the story, one that’s important to others.

Tribes: We Need You to Lead Us (Godin, Seth)

Another one from Seth Godin, I’ve read it because the other book of his was so brilliant. This one is great too, but it’s almost the same thing: read whichever comes first.

Linchpin: Are You Indispensable? (Godin, Seth)

And one last one I’ve read from Seth Godin this year, about becoming irreplaceable in the new economy. (Quite along the lines of Yakuzuzu’s “what would you do if you didn’t need to work any longer?”) A bit longer than it should be and pretty repetitive, so if you can multitask somewhat, listen to the audiobook version in the background.

Hitchhiker’s Guide to the Galaxy, The Restaurant at the End of the Universe (Adams, Douglas)

The first time I’ve read the series I was about 16, and I accidentally bumped into the book when I was moving stuff in my old room. I’m 32 now, and it’s not the same experience really, but the Hitchhiker’s Guide is still upmost fun.

Cat’s Cradle (Vonnegut, Kurt)

Starts with a story based on Ede Teller, the weird Hungarian physicist who was one of the inventors of the atom bomb. That part is awesome. Then it becomes weirder and weirder.

Breakfast of Champions (Vonnegut, Kurt)

It’s another nice-and-easy Vonnegut novel. Excellent story, I love the style, the fun scenes and jokes, though I don’t remember too many details. Great read to switch off after a long day.

Switch: How to Change Things When Change Is Hard (Heath, Chip)

Excellent, hands-on advice with plenty examples in the book. Look for opportunities to change the environment in order to shape your behaviour. (Habits for the win!)

Rich Dad, Poor Dad (Kiyosaki, Robert T.)

Recommended by many, it’s a great book for people who are not entrepreneurs. I forward the title to my friends who are thinking about becoming investors or seem to have gotten stuck in a rat-race – for already entrepreneur folks it’s just stating the obvious. (Doesn’t do any harm hammering it though.)

Zero to One: Notes on Startups, or How to Build the Future (Thiel, Peter)

Great and inspiring, but if you read one or two articles from Peter Thiel’s blog, you probably get the same effect. The main point is that the author prefers startups that invent something out of thin air rather than the ones that merely improve on stuff.

Monty Python Live! (Chapman, Graham)

It’s scripts, drawings and stories from and about the Flying Circus series. After reading the book, I started to work on another script with no delay – I guess it’s what you’d call inspiring.

Traction: How Any Startup Can Achieve Explosive Customer Growth (Weinberg, Gabriel)

It’s a users manual to startup marketing, listing the 19 marketing channels Gabriel wrote about. Don’t read the book, read the Medium post and actually implement it in real life.

Never Eat Alone: And Other Secrets to Success, One Relationship at a Time (Ferrazzi, Keith)

The best takeaway from this book is already explained in the title: meet people, make strong relationships, and do fill your lunchtime, dinners etc. with those meetings. The book hammers this in across a few hundred pages.

Is It Really Too Much To Ask? (World According to Clarkson, #5) (Clarkson, Jeremy)

Collection of stories by Jeremy Clarkson. If you like him in Top Gear / Grand Tour, you’ll like this book.

The World According to Clarkson (World According to Clarkson, #1) (Clarkson, Jeremy)

Same as all other books in this series really; see above.

The Facebook Effect: The Inside Story of the Company That is Connecting the World (Kirkpatrick, David)

It’s the story of Facebook. If you only have two hours, just watch the movie. I had one great takeaway from the book I didn’t remember from the film: Zuckerberg kept working on other side projects for quite a long time while developing Facebook.

The Obstacle Is the Way: The Timeless Art of Turning Trials into Triumph (Holiday, Ryan)

Stoicism repackaged really, so it’s a good gateway drug for friends who haven’t been bitten by it. It inspired me to practice cool-headedness.

The Power of Habit: Why We Do What We Do in Life and Business (Duhigg, Charles)

Most of the stuff we do in a day is controlled by our subconscious, so as soon as we get the habits most things will fall into place. Great book, highly recommended (as well as most interviews with the author).

Smarter Faster Better: The Secrets of Being Productive in Life and Business (Duhigg, Charles)

The difference between internal and external locus of control, and the fact that this can be changed by simple nudges. (Note to self: re-read this as soon as you become a father.) Also from Charles Duhigg, also very highly recommended.

The Achievement Habit: Stop Wishing, Start Doing, and Take Command of Your Life (Roth, Bernard)

The core takeaway was identifying the difference between trying and doing: most barriers only exist in the mind. By saying you’ll try you identify yourself as a “trier”, by saying you’ll do it you automatically enable your “doer” mode.

Jonathan Livingston Seagull (Bach, Richard)

I’ve read it on Scott Adams’ recommendation for a “weird story”. It was less weird than boring.

Ego Is the Enemy (Holiday, Ryan)

Two super-important things that stuck with me. First, there is a danger in applying career labels: are you a “filmmaker”, “writer”, “investor” just because you’ve done that once? Do you want to do something else at any time?
And second, stay a student for ever and more: “You can’t learn something you think you already know.”

How to Win Friends and Influence People (Carnegie, Dale)

It’s a psychology book written exactly 80 years ago and it still works: always think about what the other person is thinking about. Motivation only goes as far as you can align others’ goals with yours. Already forwarded to many of my friends.

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Why print?

This is my editorial for the first-ever print issue of Yakuzuzu Magazine.

***

The worst idea in the world is, if you ask me, to start yet another magazine. There are too many out there already and if not, everyone has a blog, Snapchat or Instagram just to make sure more content gets created than what gets consumed.

No one has time to read.

Twitter is the first social media that is written and read almost entirely by automated bots.

And then here’s the thing: all Yakuzuzu articles, everything that we’ve ever written and will ever write will be available for free on the interwebs. Not necessarily right away, not necessarily in the most convenient format available, but: freely accessible for everyone. It would be very much against our spirit to keep any piece of knowledge behind bars: the world is a much better place now than when I was born, exactly because of free information flow and open source.

With that we have: the content that’s available for free. A format that’s too expensive to create and is fairly bad for the environment. And yet, these ten grownups, our editorial team, decided to make it happen. Is it all ego? Is it all because we want to see our own work printed? Oh yes, you bet, some if it is ego.

And another part of it is the notion that we need to find the right space in our lives for reading. Spinning up is easy, it’s calming down that’s hard to do. The way we consume information seems to be optimised for speed: you read scrolling news headlines on CNN, while the anchor is talking, while you’re scraping Twitter on your phone.

I think this should be changed. In the spirit of slow living: what’s urgent is mostly not all that important. A book or an article is only as good as the thoughts it inspires, and for that, half the work happens in your mind.

So grab a tea, clear up your next hour or two, and enjoy reading, touching and smelling: Yakuzuzu Magazine, Volume One.

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On a bus full with beautiful people

I have to travel more than usual lately, back-and-forth between London, Lisbon, Budapest, Berlin and Rome, averaging 3-flights-weeks since September. Yesterday I was at the point where I’ve bit the bullet and paid for an airport hotel, just to skip the hassle with transfer at 2am in the morning.

It was awesome! On paper I didn’t win much, only perhaps a good shower right before the flight (which I could have had in the lounge anyway), an hour of extra sleep and the piece of mind with traffic. As an experience however it’s been great: I chose a small bread-and-breakfast in Bishop’s Stortford, a few kilometres off Stansted Airport. It’s easy to get to from where I work at Liverpool Street, and they also have a cheap-and-easy bus connection to the airport at 4am, unlike most villages in the area where you’ll pay £20-25 for a taxi in the morning.

For only £55 I got: a short walk in a pretty village with view to the night sky (outside of town you get to see the stars), to-go breakfast from an amazing host, a nice comfy bed and an easy, 20 mins transport to the airport in the morning without the one-hour safety buffer.

And the best of it all: Ryanair flight attendants who fly out from Stansted in the morning seem to be staying in the area – that means a pretty nice morning ride with all the beautiful girls (and guys), who share fun stories on the way to work.

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The birth of the clueless

I have many friends who are millionaires, many who are geniuses with an over-160-IQ, and friends who are just super-successful in other ways.
You’d be surprised to know how many of those friends are unhappy.

Happiness has no objective measure of course. Nick Vujicic seems to be pretty happy with no limbs, though when you look at the facts, strictly in an objective manner, you should think that he wakes up every morning feeling miserable. Yet, he has no arms or legs and he seems to be totally fine with it. His wife is totally fine with it. His kid is.

Happiness doesn’t seem to have a reliable subjective measure either. Whatever you do today, there is at least one thing that you’re better at than any of your friends. You’re an amusing success story for your own 6-year-old self. Does it feel like it?

Of course it doesn’t.

Jim Jefferies says in one of his stand-ups:

“When I was a young comic all I wanted to do is to go on stage for 5 minutes and make people laugh. Then I thought: “they better pay me”, and then they started paying me and I went: “I’m better than these cunts, I’m going to be a headline act”. I became a headline act, and then I went to the annual festival, did that, and then I went: “Alright I better move to America to record my DVD”. So I recorded my DVD in America, and now I want to be a movie star and you know what, I’m not a movie star and I want to kill myself.

That’s retarded! I’ve gone further than a man of my looks or intellect should ever go. At this moment I’m in a sold out theatre in fucking West London, this would be a dream of mine as a child and do you know what I’m going to do tonight? Cry myself to sleep.”

We are told to find our true passion, our one-and-only calling, but that’s no easy task either. Is your true calling to draw? Are you more passionate about photography, sports or playing Monopoly with your friends? If you started a Youtube channel about playing Monopoly right now and a gazillion people followed you, would you be happy? Would you want another gazillion people to follow you the very next day? Or, would you feel like a scam, a nobody, a sellout, for settling with this one passion while leaving the rest to rot?

Passion is overrated.

When Mark Zuckerberg started Facebook, he had two other projects he was working on. I’m sure that if you asked right now, he could tell which one he is more passionate about. I’m not so sure whether he knew it back then.

Waiting for passion to find you will never happen. It’s not about luck: if something doesn’t cost you anything, it is, per definition, worthless. You have to go out and hustle, keep bumping your head into hard things.

Our magazine, Yakuzuzu is with the ones who try and try, and try again once more even when everything seems to be against them. With the ones who are lost: the entrepreneurs, the artists, the wannabies who don’t think they know anything and aren’t afraid to learn. Yakuzuzu is with the clueless, who are ready to look beyond the surface.

If it sounds like you, you might enjoy reading The Clueless Manifesto.

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Payin’ attention

Ping, ping, ping, it’s 22:45 and I keep getting notifications. Emails, Facebook-messages. The whatever Slack named their diarrhoea.

It’s 22:45 and Sunday. I needed to catch up with work so I sat down in front of the screen in super-efficient power-through-emails mode. Music usually helps: Infected Mushrooms cancels out everything while I write code. Radiohead helps to bring out my creative spirit.

And two and two always makes a five
It’s the devil’s way now
There is no way out

Thinking about it, when was the last time I’ve listened to an entire album in one sitting? From the beginning, to the very end, waiting for the hidden track after the 8-minute silence. I don’t even know when was the last time I could listen through one single song without interruption.
If there’s nothing going on outside, I’d go ahead and interrupt myself.

Ping, ping, ping, Slack won’t shut up.
One more ping I hear and I’ll throw my laptop through the closed window.

You can scream and you can shout
It is too late now
Because you’re not there
Payin’ attention
Payin’ attention
Payin’ attention
Payin’ attention

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